Desire Mapping, How it's going down.

Book Club Participant Question:

     " Once I've got my Core Desired Feelings, how do I apply them to my life?"

This is what I said, hopefully I will remember it all.

" Let's say you have a goal you want to achieve like open an agile learning center.  You take your CDF's and you map your way to your goal with those feelings in mind.  For example, you need funding.  How you go about your quest for funds should be centered around a good feeling, your CDF's are the leads to the good feeling.  So the feeling good doesn't have to just come once the goal is attained, it should be in your pack as you venture on your journey as well."

"But there is also something about living our daily lives that should be focused on our desires.  Sure, there are aspects of our lives that we abhor doing; kitchen cleaning, working the job that pays the bills, exercise, car maintenance, family members, etc. But to know your CDF's and to make sure that you are striving for them in everything that you do will help get you through the shit.  This part can be tricky.  I believe it takes practice.  It should be come a ritual.  To be able to cipher the desires from the muck, and touch that shit with a Midas touch, takes work."

So like I said in my previous posting, you can't just jump in and expect that it will be like, BOOM DONE!  It takes work work work.  I hate work.  But I also hate the way I feel sometimes.  To be able to see the shit and change my perspective about it would be wonderful.

Here's a pic of my notes last night as we were talking round in a circle about feelings.

funnily enough, one of our members, A., talked about how she wanted to feel stable, and when she started talking about the last time she felt that way she mentioned changing schools to be closer to home and friends, I said it sounds like maybe you want to be more grounded.  OOOOooooohhhh we all said and then our other member C. said "or rooted".  OOOOOOOOOoooooooooh, shit just got real.

What an amazing word and way to feel.  How can one truly feel rooted?  I mean the perception is ours to do with it what we want.  But I'd like to think about it like a tree.  To be organically rooted.  A tree grows and so grows it's roots.  but a trees roots don't grow down, they grow out.  Sometimes rising to the surface.  It's pretty deep yo.

During our sesh, we talked about our words - it was on the agenda.  It was an opportunity in that moment to become vulnerable.  A lot of words were shared, some felt that they couldn't let go of some of their 9 words, I am happy to let go of one of them.

Here are my Core Desired Feelings:

Communion

Divine Feminine

Freedom

Soul-Full

Generous*

*(this is the one that I am chucking) Why you ask?  Because it doesn't feel soul-full to me.  I feel like I'm, to coin a phrase that A. said, Faking It to Make It.  So why did I pick that word in the first place?

Ok, here's why.

At some point in my life, someone influential to me (could be a parent???) said that poor and homeless people didn't deserve charity because they would just spend it on booze or other shite.  If they couldn't even be bothered to get a job, get off the crack or the booze, or stop havin so many babies - then they didn't deserve charity.  It stuck with me.  But I don't believe it.  

Let me repeat that.  I don't believe what they are saying.  And yet, I can't give money to the guy on the corner because I'm afraid that he's going to use it to shoot up with.  Mother Teresa said this, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them."  Meh.  This hurts my soul to the core!  

Again, something that came up last night, I want to be free from passing judgement on others because I do not love myself.  YUCK!  Mother Teresa is saying that if I judge someone, including myself, I cannot love them/myself.  I think it is so much easier to just be in love with me so that I can't see any room for improvement in others.  What does that practice look like?

Practice:

repeated exercise in or performance of an activity or skill so as to acquire or maintain proficiency in it.

"it must have taken a lot of practice to become so fluent"

REPEATED EXERCISE IN OR PERFORMANCE OF AN ACTIVITY...

So it's not about becoming proficient in something, it's about the journey to becoming something.  If I want to be accepting, then I must practice acceptance.  If I want to be compassionate, then I must practice compassion.  If I want to be forgiven, then I must practice forgiveness.

Heh.  Karma.