Conducive Lifestyle: Long Post

Ramblings Really Today.

I'm back from Houston early as my husbands Ortho doctor insisted he have surgery today and not wait! So, off I flew to be here and hold down the fort for the family :)

When I travel to Houston for work, I never really spend a lot of time focusing on anything much. I normally spend A LOT of time working, even when I am back at my hotel room. I don't usually go out much or sight see or shop, because there really isn't much to do unless I go into the City, and I'm really not that interested or I am just so super busy!

So I am spending most of my day in the Barnes and Noble Starbucks with my 8 year old, my well behaved 8 year old. She's the greatest. Plus the fact that this B&N has a really cool Thomas the Train playset that she loves, plus stuffed animals, horses, and jumbo sized cookies. AND Grandma let her borrow the portable DVD player to keep herself entertained. Of course AFTER she purused several Pirate books.

I have worked as much as I am able to right now. Mostly just responding to emails and attending telecon meetings via SKYPE and I am sure that I look hilarious with my USB headset/mic on. But I don't care, those people aren't paying me. Well I did have to pay $3.99 for 2 hours of internet which is complete CRAP :) But I am an addict, what can I say.

I said something a few posts ago about my job. "... and honestly other than the great pay and the benefits - my job means nothing to me." Well I don't think that is entirely true. I mean it is a great paying job yes and for the most part the benefits are great - so why did I say that my job means nothing to me? Maybe that isn't what I meant to say? Well let's get something straight, I am completely bored by my job. Would I be happier doing something else, yes. Has that something else presented itself to me, yes. Is it worth leaving this job to pursue it? Don't know yet.

So I did some deep thinking. Ok, am doing it too. I'm thinking that while I am bored and if I left I wouldn't be incredibly sad only because I think I would be leaving for better things, I do think I need to be more grateful. Almost 3 years ago I started this job as a temp, a single mom, and a crappy car. I have had a long history of bad decisions and mistakes that I obviously wasn't learning from, but at this point I had a real reason to keep this job no matter how much my ADD lifestyle couldn't take it. I couldn't rely on my ex-husb and I was trying to bring my fiance into America. So much was lying on my shoulders and for a brief moment I felt very much like an adolescent trying to be an adult. Brief like biblical brief. A year.

I worked as a temp for a year. Then I was hired on full time. And have been full time, with a HUGE increase in pay and benefits for almost 2 years. And yet I seem to only be complaining. I've got to stop it. I've got to find and tout all the glorious and wonderful things about the job and the place that I absolutely ADORE and LOVE. I need a Mantra.

I'm not really a mystics believer. I'm more logical but kinda a weirdo. I believe in Energy. If I put out waves then those waves will come back. So if I put out negativity, then all I will be able to get back is negativity....

Oooo deep.