What if....

1. What if you had a dream, a childhood fantasy where you knew if you were just given the door to open to the world where you knew you would be happy, or the obscura rabbit hole - 

BUT

you were broke, you had a family, you had bills, you had all the responsibilities that go with adulthood...

would you, could you

if the door showed itself to you

could you open it?  tempted to open it?

***

I'm drained.  Mentally and physically.  I need newness and I've got none.  I need organized chaos if there is such a thing.  I've got no time, no space, no mental clarity, no effort - for me stuff.  I've got everyone else stuff, no me stuff.  I want the simple and the creative; but can't afford it.

The door isn't right in front of me, it's in my peripheal vision - however.  It's inching up to me, like the tempting piece of cake.  It looks so sweet and so good and I have this gut feeling that if I indulge too soon or too quickly and without measuring, I will definately regret it in hindsight.

But, I've got no immediate plans of opening or indulging.  And I've got too many bills and not enough time.

Ciao