I've come to the realization...

that.

I just don't know what I want. Well, I do, but I want it all. And I can't pick.

More kids, yes - but I want to be selfish too and live with only one.
Then I see absolutely beautiful pictures of children and my womb begins to tighten and move, like it's hungry. And then I remember the 3am feedings and never getting any sleep. And then I look at my girl and she is so beautiful and so perfect and so delightful and I know that I did it, I created that creature. Awesome.

Ok, then I have a brilliant idea - well at least I think it is brilliant. But then I become paralyzed and can't make it move! Ok.

What could this mean for my former life? Was I not able to do anything and so in this life I want it all?

Hmmm, I know what though. I drive my husband mad, hehehe and it is so cute :)

ciao ciao